Backwards (microcuento, sort of)

Cold and restless. Lying there, beside my thousand thoughs, time is as slow as never. My first tear falls and you close the door walking away. You give me a last kiss and say you'll love me forever, but you just can't stay here any longer. I tell you that I love you, that you're my favourite thing. My favourite worst nightmare, then I give you a welcome kiss. You just never imagined that on your first birthday with me, I'd made a surprise party, just you, me and the rain; "happy birthday" I say. So you put the key on the door and open it as always. Slowly walking, lonely, through the streets, and I'm setting the time backwards cuz I wish I could have gave you a better surprise. A better time. No fights at all, no tears for no reason. No more cigarrettes 'cuz I won't be mad at you. I would have gave you more kisses and say "I love you" at least once for real.
But when the time is already set up, I realised that, to do all of that, I should've never met you at this time. I should've never said hi.